Petey's Times Square
or A Nightmare in Class Consciousness
Hey folks! Happy New Year! I am resolved to post more often in 2025, which shouldn’t be hard considering I only posted thrice in 2024.
Here’s a short story from the impending collapse of civilization. Enjoy!
Peter Murphy is blessed by Someone, but he’s not willing to say who. Sure, the world is falling apart around him, but he seems to be skating right through it. He’s not sure how, but Petey is pretty sure that when the dust settles, everything is gonna be just fine, for him at least.
After moving to New York to do theater, he’d stumbled into a successful career as a ticket broker, then sold his company for five million dollars the day before the first Hedge Fund Guy got shot. A couple healthcare CEOs had been killed, and there’d been a lot of excited chatter about the Revolution, but no one really thought anything would come of it until that first Hedge Fund Guy. Two months later, the National Guard controls of all the bridges and tunnels into Lower Manhattan so the Wall Street Bros can get to work safely.
Petey is pretty sure it’ll all calm down soon enough, but he and his wife bought a place in Westchester with Petey’s payout and they’re renting their Park Slope apartment at a low price to one of Petey’s old ticket buddies that ended up working for him.
Petey’s still a minority owner in the company, but his role is pretty loosely defined. He misses his old ticket buddies so he continues his weekly trips into Times Square to work in the office. It’s good to be around the Troops, Petey tells himself.
Petey takes a couple of his old favorites out to lunch and they light up a J. Lunch turns into happy hour turns into dinner turns into drinks. There’s something in the air in Times Square. Some sort of excitement. Anything is possible on Broadway.
Petey decides he wants to see a show before remembering everything starts at 7 on Thursdays and there’s nothing he’s really excited to see. Probably better if he’s not home too late anyway.
Petey gets chatty when he’s been drinking. Petey gets chatty when he’s been smoking. Petey gets chatty when he gets around large groups of people. Petey gets chatty at the bar. Petey makes friends.
Petey gets in a friendly argument with a couple of new friends about the merits of shooting CEOs. Petey jokes that he used to be a CEO before he sold his company, but it’s okay cuz he was one of the good ones. His old ticket buddies back him up but suggest maybe he shouldn’t have another drink. Petey knows they’re right but he’s having a blast, so he orders just one more before heading to the train.
Petey loves telling old stories from when he sold tickets on the street, so he does the time when earned Bob the Boxer’s respect after standing up to Shirtless Frankie right after Frankie got out of jail. Everyone likes Petey’s stories and a couple of his new friends offer to walk him back to Grand Central when he remembers his wife is gonna be pissed he stayed out to late and normally he’d walk himself but he is pretty drunk and he’s having fun with his new friends.
Petey insists that you can both be on the side of the Uprising and think it’s not cool to shoot CEOs at the same time and his new friends get a little quiet. They’re a couple blocks away from Broadway’s bright lights when Petey knows something’s up. He’s always had good instincts and knocks the knife out of his new friends hand before anything bad can happen.
Petey gets away through one of the lesser known passageways between 45th and 44th Streets. Those guys must’ve been idiots. It’s not like he carries his five mil around with him in cash.
A bit lost, Petey finds himself at a swanky Grand Central bar where the Big Whigs drink while they wait for their trains. Petey doesn’t really fit in here and starts to leave until he remembers that he sold his company for five million dollars and he absolutely does belong here. Shit, Petey’s wife should call Petey Big Whig in bed.
Big Whig gets chatty when he’s been drinking and smoking. Big Whig is making friends with all the other Big Whigs. Big Whig is having a great night.
A nervous kid in a hoodie comes in. He’s sitting all alone at the bar. Petey feels bad for him. It’s hard being with the Big Whigs when you don’t feel like a Big Whig.
Petey is about to go make friends with the hoodie kid when the hoodie kid gathers up his nerve, takes out his gun, and shoots the closest Big Whig in the back a few times.
Petey ducks and covers. It’s over pretty quickly. The hoodie kid and his Big Whig target are lying still in a growing pool of their own blood.
Damn, Petey thinks, those guys were my new friends.
Petey was blessed by Someone, but he’s not willing to say who.